top_kek_futbol_leaguefandomcom-20200214-history
Unreal Madrid
With an uproarious battlecry of "We would bring the power of gods if any existed", the Top Kek Kompetitors known as Unreal Madrid rose to recognition through a combination of high-profile survey rigging, petty argument, and constant complaints about how bad life is for them personally. By noisily attracting attention thus, the team has successfully avoided having to get good at football before getting popular. Known for its poor organizational skills and inability to negotiate or intermingle, the team is divided into an extremely offensive offense, a middle ground of uncertain alignment that prefers to use the term "Pan-Forward SemiDefender"; and a group of secluded defensive types at the back. The Story One day, the childish tribes of the three corners of internet gathered to create a place where they could participate in proper physical activities in the hope of shedding their excess weight. This PES team is as far as they got. An absolute hashtag mare In more recent times, however, the manager of Unreal Madrid, a team well known for not being called Unreal Madrid FC, has come under fire from the league's organisers for a spree of rebellion and petty namecalling unrivalled by even the most angst-ridden of flame wars. This has resulted in permanent and inexistant revocal of his editorial priviledges upon a wiki page that he was editing every five fuckin minutes anyway. League of Futbol Patch 1.02 notes = BY RIOT PWYFF = Hello Summoners, Welcome to patch 1.02! Since we're already so hilarious and friendly, we don't have any of those tiny bugs we've been doing our best to squash. For that reason, this patch is gonna be focused around an issue so important to us we named a summoner spell after it: clarity. There have been a few unfunny (or as we say, anti-fun) futbol game players in our time and our aim in the long-term is to remove these toxic community members and replace them with ones that enable more humorous counterplay and a vastly improved football kit. SPLASH UPDATES the old logo -> the new one Our dedicated team of artists has been working hard to replace all outdated artworks, with an ever changing visual style that steadily shifts until the "updated" splashes actually need replacing again. We're sure you'll love the result of their efforts when they never finish. BALANCE We are aware that our squad is devastatingly strong, and has no easily exploitable weaknesses, but are wary about fixing this until we acquire some more data in the form of trophies. Players (The Fedoral Reserves) The players: A detailed description Goaled account: Hired for the year for the low low price of £29.99, our resident goalkeeper comes with extra features to make your experience here better as well as special benefits from goaled partners for exceptional products and services. These include such well known brands as rover.com canine accomodation, where dogs beg to stay, and Bridgford delectable beef jerky. xXPewdsFanXx: Once got top comment on a video for the sentence "take me barrel! XD"(+6) FedoraThExplora: While u/FedoraThExplora claims to be of superior intellect to current captain FursonaNonGrata, his promise of goals almost as blinding as a belief in religious doctrines has yet to be fulfilled and he languishes grumpily in defense position until he can be arsed to move up the pitch. Like the reddit logo, he is white, male, and childish. LelcomeToLeddit: Before reddit was invented, he was called LcomeToDddit. Now he hangs out on r/circlejerk being ironic. MenHaveRights2: Under the alias of u/MenHaveRights2, Anthony HaveRights2 has successfully been accosted over talking to children by an angry mother at a park, a bowling alley, and a fairground; been called sexist for holding a door open to someone five times; and played Halo 3 at a professional level for 3+ years without ever once lying. He is the sequel to MenHaveRights1 and has a self diagnosed low metabolism. FursonaNonGrata: Runs the third most popular yaoi blog on the internet. Was once arrested at a violent protest, but was let off on the grounds that the law only applies to "persons", or "she", and not to the breed of dachschund they identify as. KafkaxGarfield: Having achieved her lifelong dream of reaching a thousand notes on an anime gifset, (complete with an "im dying someone help me i jus t") KafkaxGarfield retired from tumblr to develop her footballing career, in the hope of someday wielding enough power to pressure high-quality geneticists into making her shipping namesake a reality. Cishet Scumbag quote; "doesn't have to educate you shitlords about her life." PlsRespond(;_;): An early exchange from "tfw no qt gf", Pls respond (;_;) has found what he considers to be his "true home (^_^)" in Unreal Madrid, as his devotion to a weekly rota of members of the midfield demonstrates. It's certainly a better home than his parent's house. 66 GET: kek Le 9gag Army: In order to bolster his confidence before a big match, le 9gag army once votebombed his way into the TIME top 100, revealing his anonamose identity in the process. The Fedoral reserves Marcus "75-minute Mark" Dawley was just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill kind of guy, and still is. Amy and Celia Copypasta are identical twins who graduated top of their class in the navy seals and are phone. Trivia * Unreal Madrid's name isn't, in fact, Unreal Madrid FC, but Unreal Madrid. **This is abbreviated to URM, which in turn stands for ur mom and represents the fact that Dave is a huge nerd. **>implying *rekt *told * (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) *Interestingly, the player Goaled Account cannot actually be a gold player, owing to the dire societal restrictions placed upon goalkeepers. **He is, however, gold at heart, and is labelled as such.